A desperate call for help

hey reddit btc community! I first got into btc in 2017 and time bought up to one btc with my savings.
today this balance i at zero. iknow im such and idiot, i never thought this would happen as a always planed to hold for the future.

at an average purchase price of about 40 k i kinda lost it all, i got into a leverage position and did not understand the complex of it and how i could get me wiped out of the market.

And the crash happend in the market and life at the same time, my grand father that i take care of got sick and i was by him to help him get food, water and and get him back on his feet.

i did not manage my risk in the market and i frooze in the situation. and left my position in a risky and unprofessional manner.

Today i cant look myself in the mirrior anymore, I always been good with money and spending. I have never asked or been gifted anything in life. lived below my means and spent my time helping family and friends.

Living with the belief that i in the future could provide and help others with their finacial strives, and as of right now i got nothing to show for.

I been keeping this loss to myself and the bearing has resulted in deep depression and suicidal thoughts the last months. How I failed in life and not beeing able to cope with the stress life throwed at me.

since there is 1 million users on this thread, im here to ask for a donation. im 30 years old and live paycheck to paycheck right now. I planed on using the funds from btc to help my grandad to pay of his inherit claims his children has from his dead wife from 20 years ago.

it about 100 k i think.

he dont have many years left and recently got his cancer diagnose with spread back after beeing cancer free for 15 years. guess the covid vaccines can really be dangerous after all.

Im the only one in the family who knows this, and when he ask how my btc is doing i dont have the courage to tell him i lost i all beacuse i thought he was goin to die and i was unable to take action.

I got nothing more going for me and and this is my only option. seein btc rocket further up and not having a single sat anymore kills me and the only will i have to live is my grandfather not goin to my funeral.

Take care .

37g6Meot41a7CQyVoFQvxEubGyC9LeKhuj / my btc spot wallet