How would the Coldcard Hacker Wash the Coins?

Imagine that you are the Coldcard thief. The entire Bitcoin community is watching your deposit address like a hawk.

Both as a curious thought exercise, and as a test of Bitcoin's censorship resistant property, tell me whether there is any realistic way you can wash (not necessarily spend for big ticket purchase) the loot. What would be your game plan? A few thoughts that occur to me are like this.

Coinmixers that mix many UTXOs and produce output UTXOs? But it would mean something like one trail dividing into like a thousand trails? Still it will stay traceable, right?

Going to layer 2 (Lightning, with your own node) or sidechain (Liquid)? Do they really work to cover the trail? I used both of them a bit for transactions, but my knowledge of their internal working is limited. Does it mean you have to trust at least one other entity (even if you run your lightning node) with your coins and/or identity? That entity can refuse your transaction or leak your identity to some authorities?

I saw some ideas floated around somehow mixing the UTXO with coinbase transactions, which requires collusion with some miner (or may be yourself). Not sue how or whether it works, but again, seems something that requires quite deep knowledge of the protocol.

All the above are technical solutions, but if you can afford to wait, may be you don't need that fancy of a solution to begin with? You can just outlast the transient attention span of the world? Within five years (by when many other dramas gonna happen) this will be a footnote, and probably the address will not stay in anyone's consciousness any more, except the victims themselves.

In the worst case, you can even leave the fund to your kids, dividing into a few different addresses. When they retire, by then probably anyone who lost fund will be dead anyway, and if Bitcoin gets wider acceptance as money (as I have full confidence it will), nobody will bat an eye about another 50 year old address waking up (plenty of whales will get liquidated, and their funds will be distributed or lost by then).

I know a lot of speculation here, but it seems there has to be a way to cut the trail. Also, has a hardcore Bitcoiner, I wish there is a way, not because I am the thief or sympathise with him, but because I believe the community or a court should not be the arbiter of whether I can spend from an address if I have the private key to sign a transaction. That is what censorship resistance and fungibility mean.