I converted my entire 401k to Bitcoin

With about a 5 minute phone call to the financial institution that manages my 401k, I was able to cash it all out WITH NO PENALTY!!!

The usual restrictions and penalties for cashing out a 401k early have been temporarily lifted due to COVID.

I got 100% of the value of my 401k in icky fiat dollars and bought bitcoin with the full amount.

Obviously, I have to pay normal taxes on the 401k withdrawal, but I didn't have the stupid penalties that typically exist when you try to get YOUR OWN money from a government-regulated retirement account.

So, I got rid of my increasingly decreasing fiat-based 401k and turned it into a new type of retirement account - a "401₿"

Now I can do whatever I want with that money whenever I want to do it. Thanks for the loophole, Uncle Sam!